The Rebirth of Mrs. Q

There is a ninety-one-year-old Korean woman I have visited at a local nursing home since early 2015. I knew Mrs. Q before she entered the home. She had a lot of mental health issues related to trauma during her years in Korea. 

In her younger years, Mrs. Q experienced the Japanese invade her country and the rise of communism. She was living with her family in Muncie, Indiana, when they moved to New York and literally dumped her at St. Mary Church where a Volunteer of God found her crying on the curb with her suitcase. A friend of mine took her in for two months. Then, a group of others were able to find a home for her.

Many years later, the St. Vincent de Paul Society got a call about Mrs. Q. She was living in an abandoned property with no water or electricity. At this point another friend of mine, Peggy, became Mrs. Q’s legal guardian and was able to get an apartment for her in senior housing. But they threatened to kick her out several times, as she would have flashbacks and scream and yell in her apartment. 

Mrs. Q was independent. As she got older, she started to refuse to go out of her apartment and then had health issues related to her lack of movement. So Peggy put her into the nursing home, as she could no longer take care of herself. I started visiting her when she moved there. 

Mrs. Q was not an easy patient. She would get mad at the staff, hit them, and swear like sailor. Peggy had been the brunt of this often over the years. I witnessed it a few times, but it was never aimed at me. The nursing home soon felt that she should be sent to psychiatric nursing home, but Peggy fought that successfully.

In all the years I visited her she never would take Communion except once from a priest. Often when I visited, she would acknowledge my presence and then do what she was doing as if I was not there. I would just sit beside her and pray. Although she always appreciated my visits. 

She called me “Peggy’s tall friend.” I still don’t think she remembers my name. Sometimes she would talk to me about taking her to New York where her family was. She never left her room except to shower and because they made her.

This past winter she seemed to be failing. She slept a lot and was often in the fetal position in bed. But then in the spring, to my surprise one day she said she would like to receive Communion and has been receiving it ever since. Since then, she’s become another person. Now I often find her sitting in the hallway, often with another woman who has become her good friend. They sit and hold hands. When I visit, she often grabs my hand and just looks into my eyes. I believe Jesus is present in those moments. 

Mrs. Q has started to eat her meals in the cafeteria and participates in the activities there. For the first time she sat outside with Peggy. She has moved in her wheelchair under her own power. The other residents welcome her with love and open arms. She sits with a group of women who hold her hands and affirm her. They have gotten her to do things she has never done before. She has even changed how she dresses. She used to wear neutrals, now her clothes are bright and colorful. She is no longer angry. She is at peace and seems generally happy. She is her true self, a person who is loved and who is giving love.