Recently, I moved to another city due to a new job, and it was very difficult for me to find friends or other young people who share my faith. But after a few weeks, I joined a group in my parish where I felt comfortable.
However, my new job was very challenging, and on top of that, my grandmother’s health declined. I began to get increasingly anxious.
Little by little, I no longer felt the presence of Jesus; and my dialogue with him went dry. But I kept on trying, since I felt that praying was not just reciting words but talking to Jesus, asking questions…I realized that everything I did had no value if my actions were not out of love for God. I felt alone, not physically, but because I no longer felt God’s presence, even though I was sure of his presence and his love.
I tried to stay close to the other members of the Focolare, sharing this moment of discouragement. I also kept the relationships alive with the young people in my parish, sure of their unity. I felt that I shouldn’t stay stuck in my difficulties, but that I had to go out of my comfort zone to love even if I didn’t know everyone well.
There were moments in which it was very difficult for me at work, but what always helped me was to refocus on love of neighbor, knowing that continuing to love while suffering would help me to find a solution. And I rediscovered that loving others was a way of loving God.
At work, I was in charge of coordinating a catering service, and I often found myself having to organize crucial moments.
One day, a colleague of mine who is in charge of the orders made a mistake, and there was some confusion. The head chef, believing that I was responsible for the confusion, called me and yelled at me on the phone.
It was hard, and in that moment I felt unjustly accused of something I hadn’t done. Then I remembered Jesus, he too had been accused without guilt. I tried to react to this situation with love without defending myself, and I called the customer to apologize for the mistake.
After a few hours, the colleague who was actually responsible for the mistake called me, and I managed to remain calm instead of scolding him.
Shortly after, the head chef even called me, apologizing for not having given me time to explain what happened. Again, I replied calmly without making him feel guilty.
I’ve heard that love repays a hundred times the evil we sometimes endure, and in the end, the joy is always greater.